Category Archives: relationships

The Date.

June 30, 2016family history, grief, healing, letters, memorials, mystical experience, relationshipsruth ann scanzillo

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*Originally written June 28, 2013.

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About twice a year, this girl deep cleans.

It’s about being a grand-daughter of the Great Depression.

Mum, the daughter, saved everything. Only she was a sorter. There were jars in the cellar, each filled with whole items according to size and shape. A jar for nuts. A jar for bolts. (She worked a semi-automatic machine during the war.) A jar for screws. A jar for nails. A jar for brads. A jar for rubber bands…..

Me? I’m a chaotic. It’s all there, just……..in a sea-salad of the casually-tossed, collecting for a majority of months, sometimes, in a single calendar year……until the dining room table slowly sinks out of sight.

This week, the tablecloth finally emerging, the last nine items stacked neatly by my purse so as to be addressed tomorrow, there remained one smaller pile – of greeting cards. Half were blank, awaiting use; the other half, those too precious to throw out.

Carrying these to the secretary for precise placement, I spied another which had been set aside on the cedar chest. Reaching for it, I was startled to see the handwriting inside; it was from Dad.

A note from Dad was always a keeper. His having reached the 5th grade at the Walter E. Fernald School for the Feebleminded back in 1925 without a mother or father to help him with his homework, Dad’s penmanship was a curious, halting conglomeration of large, stylized caps and illegible lower case, as he expertly compressed his rare uncertainty about the spelling of words between inflated left-handed lower loops. Yet, ever the entertainer, the rhythm of his elaborate speech was woven into the writing, and I sat down to read once more what would be his final note to his only daughter.

But, most amazing was the date at the top.

This was a blank card, in fact a Thank You note that he’d selected from a miscellaneous box. Floral on the front, a simple “thank you” inside – and, his message on the facing frame.

And, this message was for my birthday. He’d wanted to give me money, so he said, a gesture more formal than anything because he knew I never asked for a penny from my Dad. And, sharp as a tack until well past 90, he wanted me also to know that he knew the gift was coming early this year because he could remember my birthdate without prompting. I was, after all, the first baby he’d ever held as a father.

So, though he cited my birthdate by number, the 26th, he was giving me my money gift this year with the admonition that I “spend it wisely.” This, after first telling me how much he loved me and just how proud he was that he could brag about his only daughter. These were always the first words coming from Dad ….the “I love you” part.

But, the date at the top. The date at the top jumped off the page this time. Though I’d remembered reading it back when he first presented the card to me, the date he’d written his note was never more poignant, more mysterious, more baffling, more heart-rending, nor more inspiring than at this moment: it said, (and, he’d underlined it, too): ” April the 9 Lord’s Day“.

“April the 9” was the day Dad died.

littlebarefeetblog.com

Modulating Jane.

April 21, 2016civic commentary, classical music, commentary, health and wellness, human behavior, interviews, personal testimony, political commentary, relationships, sociologyBernie Sanders, Jane Sanders, modulating the voice, political interviews on CNN, public speaking, vocal support, voting in American politics, Wolf Blitzer interviewsruth ann scanzillo

Jane Sanders is speaking, right now, in a Wolf Blitzer interview at CNN.

Jane is Bernie Sanders’ wife.

I’m a musician. A musician, with some significant background in voice.

With quite a bit of experience, singing solo, and singing in ensemble and, given a history teaching marching band, with nodes, cord surgery, and follow up voice lessons with none other than the world’s most enduring Madama Butterfly, Louisa Jonason, yes.

I know the voice.

You can tell a lot about a person by the sound of that person’s voice.

It’s called modulation. The voice is either shrill, raspy, tight, muted, or well modulated.

Jane Sanders’ voice is beautifully modulated.

This suggests that she is a woman of inner calm. She takes time to breathe. She takes time to listen. She does not push into the auditory realm; she simply enters, with grace.

You can also tell a lot about a man by observing his wife.

I think everybody, and I mean everybody, should do a search for that Blitzer interview which just took place on CNN. Between 1pm and 1:15pm, EST, today, April 21. Watch Jane Sanders speak, and listen to her voice. Hear what she says.

You’ll be finding out a lot about the man you should be seriously considering as your candidate for President of the United States. And, it doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman.

How to [Mis]Handle a Woman.

April 11, 2016commentary, human behavior, light verse, love, personal ads, psychology, relationships, social behavior, sociologyCAMELOT, How To Handle A Woman, men in relationships with women, men misunderstanding women, misunderstanding womenruth ann scanzillo

1.) Ask her, in print, if she is attending an event. Then, tell her you’ll pick her up.

[ Women have cars. ]

[ Generally, women prefer being picked up only by elephants, and even then, prickly backs.]

[ Never tell a woman what she is going to do. ]

2.) Show up at her house, in the rain, while she is having company, and begin to alter the appearance of her property.

[ Women actually own property. ]

[ Generally, women prefer to make the decisions regarding their property. ]

[ Trespassing is a misdemeanor. ]

3.) Offer to come over and set her mousetraps. When you arrive, declare that the house needs to be cleaned first, and then sterilize the floor. Don’t apologize when none of the traps are tripped.

[ Women know when they are pigs. ]

[ Generally, offering to do something for a woman that she is capable of doing for herself is considered condescending. ]

[ Mice urinate on their trails, so they can return to where they found the food.]

4.) As a surprise, give her a gift of shower soap.

[ Women have shower soap. They get it from their nieces on Christmas. ]

[ Generally, a woman wears deodorant.]

[ Never imply that a woman smells funny. It’s probably the henna.]

5.) When a woman puts on her coat, size her up and tell her you will buy her one that is black and more “appropriate” for the occasion.

[ Women are tired of black.]

{ Generally, a woman chooses outer apparel first for comfort, then for fabric quality and, finally, for color. ]

[ Never tell a woman what is appropriate for any occasion. ]

6.) When a woman steps into her boots, tell her she looks “like an old Polack from the East side.”

[ Women wear the boots. ]

[ Generally, women both choose their own footware and the way in which they kick with it.]

[ You are a bigot and a jerk. Go home and [mis]handle yourself. ]

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littlebarefeetblog.com