Category Archives: grief

death; loss; healing

The Familiarist.

 

She stood, at the doorway, in full deja vu.

Surveying the dog sheet curled over the pillows, the rumpled blue and brown fleece. The little bowls, on the dresser. The three, inverted, grey and white socks, on the floor just near the child’s rattan chair draped with those pewter hued gym pants which always fit her just when she needed them.

The hallway, dog bone chards embedding in the terry tufted rugs from Ollie’s. Stand alone heater, always almost enough to cut that blood clotting, bone deadening chill. The Young Chang, hopelessly out of tune, against the central wall.

She’d had that old workhorse for nearly thirty years. Almost feeling again the giddy suspension of all reason which had moved her to hire the guy to haul it all the way out to this living room, even her own piano had become part of the deep, inextricable familiarity of these surroundings.

Familiar meant comfortable. Comfortable meant secure. Secure meant the hope of enduring life. How does one turn away?

Little Fitz Willie the cat, silent. Imploring. Bella wriggling. Brody gazing. The birds.

She loved. Like the earth, under foot.

His grandfatherly, cumin scent. Stumbling to the kitchen, hair Kewpie coiffed, for the ground morning cup. Crouched, ready for the bathroom well before she would ever be. Grousing, endlessly, in glorious malcontentment, through an entire day and into the end of it.

This couldn’t be the end, of anything. She knew it all, too well.

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© 2/20/19    Ruth Ann Scanzillo.    Please respect the author’s story. Thank you.

littlebarefeetblog.com

 

 

Policy Vs. Procedure.

 

Ever submit to surgical anesthesia?

Ever been given options, like conscious sedation vs. deep?

Did you know that some medical practitioners defy stated policy, without disclosing to the patient? They do. Patient selects conscious sedation; doctor orders deep sedation, using a cocktail of Versed and morphine.

I know of one such case. Cardiac. When the patient died during the procedure, the doctor was thereafter dismissed from the surgical department. He moved to another state, and resumed practicing.

But, how common is this procedure vs policy practice?

And, how might such a thing be investigated?

Patients cannot gather any proof. How could they? They’re out – either cold, or partially so.

Scary stuff.

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© 2/8/19   Ruth Ann Scanzillo.

littlebarefeetblog.com