To the College “Intro to Creative Writing” Professor:

Hello, there.

If this blog is on your list for student perusal, I’m both curious and bit self-conscious (who, me?)

Just so you know:

a.) Yes; I know that I have a penchant for sentence fragments. For effect. Purely for their cadence.

b.) Yes; I know that my pieces contain dangling participles, run-ons, and erratic use of tense. I’m a musician, living and working in the 21st century. Play enough Bernstein and Adams. You’ll get the hang.

c.) Yes; most of my stuff is about me, myself, and the rest of my personalities. Oh; and, my mum and dad. Always mum and dad. I staunchly defend the two most incredible people in my life.

d.) No; most of the people I know don’t even think of me as a writer. I just do this because nobody is watching over my shoulder. Try doing something nobody will expect of you. Record your reaction.

e.) No; it’s just not okay for you to take my written efforts and dissect them until there’s nothing left. The meta-message you send your students is that all they’ll find at is a drawerful of animal fetuses soaking in formaldehyde, waiting for your literary lab and your personal scalpel.

f.) So, thanks. Thanks for the attention. Even negative press blah blah blah. Go lazy, but go away and find something else for your students to do. I’m just muddling through, like everybody else. Well, not exactly. Not exactly like everybody else. I just don’t want my stuff used as an example of What Not to Say or How Not to Say It. Because I think I’m saying it like nobody else.

And, I think you know that.



Thank you.



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