” The old lady sat
on her side porch stoop
With a snack and a book
in the sun
Which was low in the sky
burning hot on her calves
so the lap cloth she moved
’til it hung
Just below both her knees
shading ankles and feet
Which she tucked underneath
her chair;
Then a bee smelled the ginger
‘tween thumb and finger
And, her afternoon read
was done. “
.
.
.
.
© 6/17/2020 Ruth Ann Scanzillo. p.s. Homage to “The 100 Year Old Man….” by Jonas Jonasson — a truly hilarious read.
littlebarefeetblog.com
Nice chair too! 🙂
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Yah! Found wet by the curb, I saved it. Perfect on the stoop, cuter without anybody sitting in it.
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Now, I need to locate Jonas Jonasson. More impossible than climbing out of a window at age 100. He’ll have to find me.
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I looked it up! Yes it does sound a bit implausible! 😀 It reminded me a little of Sophies World, in that it wizzes around plot wise!
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OF: Am thinking of editing the last line so it rhymes in order: “And, then only the chair was there.” is that better, or not as good? xo
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I don’t know, often I find when you try to turn something good into something great, it spoils the original? It sounds like a good idea, maybe try it and see? Maybe try to keep both the bee and the final chair somehow? 🙂
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Yeah…….the last line rhymes with the first, but according to the overall structure it should rhyme by stanza all the way to the end…
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Well rules don’t really matter do they? I think as it is, it ends with the bee and its quite quaint, whereas if it ended with an empty chair, it suggests something altogether more serious to do with mortality – changing the whole meaning. Maybe you should wait and rewrite it in another say – 30 – 40 years?
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