Today was the eighth day.
Jehovah’d created the whole world in six, and the next day rested.
She was worn out.
Age made time move faster, she’d been told. But, she believed otherwise. State of mind, that’s what governed time. The degree to which mind attended to detail across the hours determined how quickly they were perceived to move. That, and resistance, the force designed to provoke action.
Back in the day she’d committed every waking minute, including those spent asleep, to action. Forty five of these, unassigned to task, was a vacation. Add to that the fertility cycle, applied to a body in constant motion, and you got what made a whole day take eons to end. That, and resistance, the force designed to prevent progress.
Now, she’d made every moment of these eight days deliberate. Wariness, the state of awareness heightened by foreboding expectation. She had to monitor her mind, across time now; it had become her adversary.
That, and resistance, the force with the capacity to frustrate.
Her thoughts always in charge, these days had been consumed by them. Intricate; hyper-conscious; fixated. Not on a single subject, but the juxtaposition of two. Then, convergence. Dissonance.
Thoughts driving action, she’d become skittish. Intent upon fulfilling predictable patterns, obligations, but determined to move through the newer resistance.
The two subjects were seemingly opposed. One, give; the other, take.
Each carried their own assigned actions. Were they mutually exclusive? Should she give or, instead, take?
Her existence had become about these questions, more poignantly now than ever before.
Notions of reciprocation having dissolved with a decaying fantasy, she was left only with the task of defining need. Her own.
If she continued to give, would doing so provide inherent satisfaction? Whence would the signal to take arise? If she chose instead to pursue the latter, would there be anything there to receive?
Would that the source of either be singular; but, historically, she hadn’t been so blessed.
Eight days hence, the decision to choose remained.
Thank God for the first day of another week.
Copyright 9/4/22 Ruth Ann Scanzillo. All rights those of the author, whose thoughts these are and whose name appears above this line. No copying, in whole, part, or by translation. Sharing by blog link, exclusively. Thank you for thinking, first.